I am waiting...
No good at waiting
Rushing, racing,
to destination
Last one to show up.
I’m working on
Letting go
Listening for soul
No forcing, less goals.
I’m waiting for
The earthquake of my divorce to end
And echoing tremors
To finally settle.
I’m waiting to hear
As I self-care and heal
My soul is quiet
It’s silent, I fear.
I’m waiting for the time
When I can truly say
I’m free of shame
And blame.
I’m waiting for my son
To grow out of his rage.
Maybe he’s bi-polar,
And it’s not his age.
I’m waiting to want
To embrace my grief,
To feel it all.
Maybe next week.
Gia - I’ve spent 25 years feeling it all - once you start, it never really ends.
But it can become background noise. Which doesn’t drown you in tears and rage.
Your son, like mine, may need help that is more than you can give. Don’t put that off. I didn’t want to see how deeply divorce can damage a child’s world. Because I was the one who instigated the divorce to save my own happiness.
But no matter if it was or wasn’t your choice, it definitely was not your son’s. Your love isn’t enough to fix that wound. I tell you this from sad experience. I wish someone had told me.
Sending you my very best wishes for a happy life for you and your son.